So this week I have taken two steps towards nurturing my creativity, I have begun some mentoring sessions with my lovely friend Kaye and I have taken the plunge and committed to doing ‘The Artist’s Way’ over the next 12 weeks. A book I have owned for years but never done. This programme is about rediscovering and unblocking your creative self, it’s not just for artists, it’s for anyone who wants more creativity in their life. One of the essential bits is the morning pages where you splurge whatever you want onto three pages of a notebook each morning. As someone who is definitely NOT a morning person I think this is going to be the hardest for me, so here I am on day one doing my morning pages in my favourite space, on my balcony, and committing to do this for 12 weeks. There are also various other tasks you have to do and a weekly artist's date, more about this later. I think writing this blog may help me to commit. Oh my goodness how am I going to manage morning pages every day, let alone the rest!
This week I have been addressing my immediate response to taking on this challenge, ‘I have no time in my life to do this, or perhaps more specifically ‘I have no time in my thinking to focus on my creativity’. Kaye introduced me to an interesting idea about there being 3 types of business, ‘my business’, ‘his/her business’ and ‘God or a greater force’s business’ e.g. the weather. Since having children I have found it very hard to make time for myself, not just doing things, but also that my kids are constantly in my head. Even when I’m not with them I’m worrying about them or planning schedules/meals etc etc. As I start to think about it, I realise so much of my energy is taken up on ‘his/her business’, rather than truly present with ‘my business’.
Now my children have reached the grand old ages of 6 and 8 and are becoming increasingly independent, I’m not sure there is the same need as there was for them to be in my head all the time. But having thought like this for so long, I’m left feeling that I’m not sure what ‘my business’ even really is anymore. And isn’t it selfish to think about me when there’s so much else that always needs doing? It's just not as easy to do a lot of the things I used to like doing before I had children, and besides are the things I used to like doing pre-children, the things I like doing now anyway? In those rare bits of free time, how do I want to spend it? I don’t know. Which is perhaps why I continue to fill it with the double Ws, 'Work and Washing', as those always need doing and time is so precious these days. It has to be spent productively. Right? Doesn’t it? Another question to address. Allowing myself time is definitely related to my thinking space and my creative exploratory space. Maybe I’ll end up writing about all this in the morning pages, or more likely I’ll be writing ‘I’m really tired, I am not a morning person, I did not want to get up’ for three pages. We’ll see!
If there's anyone else out there embarking on Week 1 or who wants to join me in this journey, please do get in touch and maybe we can support each other....